So I have been posting about China but I have to stop today and just praise God. I will be leaving this house in a few minutes and I will be visiting my daughter's grave. It is a simple grave marked with a small marker with her name, the year of her birth and the year of her death. It is small and simple since it is placed on a small mausoleum and there is no room for fancy or elaborate markers. Much like little Anna's life.....small, simple, not too flashy but sweet, and pure.
I am the mother of three precious children. I am blessed to have two of them with me and just kissed them a moment ago as they excitedly left for the Franklin Christmas parade with their Poppa. This has been an annual tradition for Grace & Tony but this year will be extra special with Gabriel riding on Tony's shoulders and receiving the candy thrown from the floats. In my mind today I see my third child skipping down a long gold paved sidewalk with her sweet smile just shining as bright as the sidewalk. She is happy and she is whole. She is healthy and completely content. I sit here and type this to keep me focused on what I feel is the part of today that is the most important. Praising God that I was a part of His plan for this precious miracle. Praising God that I know the truth that I will see her again and that I will spend eternity with Him & her starting on the day He has planned. So I have Peace! I know the Truth!
1/2 world away I visualize a woman who does not have peace. I visualize her lost today in thought of the day she gave birth to a little, bitty, baby girl who was having trouble breathing. I visualize her remembering the night a month & a half later that she or someone on her behalf left this baby at the children's hospital on the 4th floor. The feeling of complete panic and utter loss as she left that child. The feeling she must feel today.....the gut wrenching sadness of not knowing what happened to her child. So I pray hard today. I focus on one thing and that is asking God to send the Holy Spirit to give this woman peace. Peace of mind and heart. Peace that she will not understand but that will allow her to breath today. I pray that by His hand she would come to know Him. If she does by some chance know Him, that she also know her abandoned child is safe & loved by His arms.
I am so blessed today. I know the hurt and loss of Anna. Imagine if I had never gotten to hold her or kiss her or smell her or rub lotion on her after a bath. Who would I have been without her imprint on my life? I am the daughter of the Highest of Kings and I carry His hand print and signature on my life. Being Anna's momma taught me and is teaching the importance of that everyday and for that I am so grateful. I love you Anna. Momma misses you so! I wish I could have seen you blow out candles in honor of your birthday but it was not meant to be. So I honor the day you were born by praising our Father & asking Him to cover your birth mother in peace.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment