To Where You Are

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory, so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be (?)
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away not far
To where you are

Music has always been something that moves me. I can look back at certain moments of my life and remember a song or lyrics that carry pieces of that specific time of my life around with the melody. Winnie the Pooh's "Blustery Day" takes me back to childhood in a little rocking chair with my denim clad record player playing that sweet catchy tune as I tapped my little foot(back then little,LOL) in time with the story book on 35(record player talk--for you young-in's)making the pages come to life. "Somewhere Out There", the theme song for some Disney movie(I think....An American Tale)at the time, but for me the living memory of my senior year of high school(class of 88')with Linda Ronstadt's sweet voice making the future seem so hauntingly vague. "I Love The Way That You Love Me", John Michael Montgomery in 1993 when I married the man that God hand picked just for me....the way we danced at our reception in a small, slow circle since my hubby is the whitest white man alive and has no rhythm or talent for dancing. No matter it was one of the sweetest slow dances of my life.

Now, "To Where You Are", by Josh Groban.....the song that plays on the old blog that pops up right after my sweet Anna's face. Tonight the lyrics above seem to have come life to me just like the first time I heard them.....about 2 days before Anna would have turned 3....Dec. 4, 2008. Tonight the night before my baby girl's birth date I again find the lyrics and melody capturing the moment. Oh, to only travel high up above the clouds and just see her soft sweet face for just a moment. Would that help? Would it change everything? No, I say. No, never! Because if I saw her face I would then want to touch her...to breath her in. It is not time for that yet. I am not the One who dictates the time. One much wiser and perfect in all ways is the one that determines that. My peace is in knowing she is there with Him and one day, the right day, I will join them. So until that wonderful day arrives I will try to comfort myself like tonight. I will sit quietly in the stillness of the late evening, in the colorful shadow of my Christmas tree listening to this sweet yet mournful song and reminisce about my sweet peach. The gift that God gave me for such a short but life changing time. The treasure that fell from heaven once but resides there for eternity. I will comfort myself with tears and I will trust in the knowledge that I will breath again once this time passes. I will visualize my littlest of angels celebrating in heaven again this year. Glory to God in the Highest!