A 4th Filled with Sweet Memories

We had a quiet, sun filled Sunday just the three of us. Grace & I spent the afternoon cleaning out her sand & water table and putting new play sand in it. Tony had put the table behind the house after Grace stopped playing with it. It seemed for a long time after Anna died Grace just lost interest in the table so we put it away. Since it looks like we will be China bound for Gabriel some time before Oct.(God willing!) I thought we should bring it back out and clean it up at least. Grace may be 6 almost 7 but she was so excited to get back in it yesterday. She sat there for about 2 hours just playing like she used to. I should have taken a picture but I did not...surprise, surprise. I am the worst at picture taking. It was sweet to see her sit in her little red chair which she is almost too big for and just play pretend in the sand & water. I love that sweet girl so much. Such a big girl but still so much baby left in her. I am so grateful for that and trying so hard to embrace every moment because soon it will be gone.

Little Anna and the memories of our time together will always surround July 4th. I guess the tears I shed when I remember is just a part of my life now. I went to the cemetery and placed a little windmill with stars in remembrance of our one holiday shared. As sweet as her resting place is I just weep when I visit. I have found I do not visit as much as I use to. I find peace and comfort more at Anna's bench in our neighborhood. That is where I can see my little cherub still toddling on the sidewalk. Memories like it was just yesterday.


I could not hold back the tears of joy & thanksgiving the last few days just praising God that He gave me the privilege of being her Momma. I watched the fireworks in the distant sky last night and remembered Anna sitting on my lap holding her ears and saying, "ooh" as the first fire work blasted in 08'. She was mesmerized for a whooping 2 minutes and then wanted to play with Grace. We were sitting in the back of Tony's truck bed in Franklin H.S. parking lot that year to watch the display. A little snippet of my life that I will carry with me forever. Her sweet, little body sitting on my lap. Anna's skin was always cool even in 100 degree weather. I assume now from her heart being so sick. I remember how sweet she smelled that night even after a whole day of playing outside. How her little hair was just starting to grow in and it felt downy soft & sweaty as I kissed her head. Anna always sweated even though her skin was cool....no doubt from her heart. How I can look back at little things and they are so clear now. Back then I was in the middle of bonding with my baby girl and just falling in love....really I saw nothing but LOVE. I know that is how God intended it.

I am going to close this today since the tears seem to be coming a little too easily. Praying this week for Gabriel's I-800! We hope immigration starts moving soon!

Hugs,
Jo

II Corinthians 1:5
"For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows."